FUNNY

HA HA-i just can't belive how much I went through with this guy!! He is way out of my life and I don't plan on going out with someone for a while. Unless they are the ones who ask me out. Then again I can't just say yes to any other guy. How stupid would that be??!?!!? Also I just am amazed at how I made myself think that I liked him. He was'nt even good at math-or fractions at that. Well...I just hope that I'll try to watch my social life for a while.

Going...going..gone...

He is going..going..and now he is gone. Instead of acting I let him escape...let him go. I may meet him again over the years but I know that he is not for me. I'll remember him but only as one of the guys that I knew over the years, the first one that I really loved. Now it's my turn, I'm going...going...and I'm gone.

How....

How can I live like this knowing that someone that I like is holding someone else in their arms other than me. Even though I will most likely find someone else it still hurts. How much longer do I have to bleed?? How much longer until the darkness retreats?? When will I see the light again? It takes so long to mend my heart.

Why is it so hard??

Why is it so hard to understand? Why do I hate him and yet he is so sweet and cute to me. But never will he understand why I feel this way. He does not know how to love, but he taught me and thats good enough for me. Why is it so hard to understand that I have to move on? I have to forgive & forget, but it is hard...and so painful. And others will come and go. I'll hurt, even more possibly, that they go. But I will find a way to move on.....somehow.

Darkness

Here I lay, in the darkness, letting it consume me-letting it take over me. In pain I realize something-I love him but I hate him all the while. Why does these four simple words cause so much pain?: he doesn't love me. My tears are filled with sorrow, and my words are smeared with blood. I lay here trying to mend my broken heart. I feel as though my life is glass and was shattered all over, piercing my heart with its sharp tips. And it hurts to realize the truth, but its real. Life is never fair, it never will be.